Trekkies are Insane!


I’ve always been a big Star Trek fan. But I never understood what “get a life” meant until I saw the hate mail from my look at warfare in the new Star Trek movie.

I’ll share some of the more interesting comments I received:

“If you read the “Countdown” comic that Orci & Kurtzman wrote as a prequel to the movie, you would know that the Narada [the Romulan ship] was modified by a Romulan weapons devision using captured Borg technology.” Nope, I’m not an expert on Star Trek comics and captured Borg weaponry. Then again, I don’t address my wife in Conversational Klingon.

Your analysis is lacking in understanding of Star Fleet history. Actually, I’m  pretty good with American, European and military history. But the “history” of a make-believe universe?  Read my lips as I speak Shatner-style: It’s. All. Make. Believe.

Mike Peck has the intellect of a multi-generational inbred wild donkey! What part of Rumsfeld’s “WIN” don’t you understand? (Girley mouthed boy)! Geek + Neo-Con = Geeko-Con

All this fussing and crying and moaning over a movie that doesn’t even deserve this attention. Have any of you ever gotten laid?? Seriously…..Touched a tit?? Statistical evidence is lacking, but I suspect that many of these fans are more interested in the geometry of space-time than in the geometry of Lieutenant Uhura.

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17 Responses to Trekkies are Insane!

  1. lexicon says:

    So your notion is that you would like to be able to stridently criticize things you admittedly know little about without having people get riled up? Seriously?

    My eyes glaze over when my pals talk about Star Trek in roughly the same way as when friends debate modern poets and their works. A little can be nice, but I just can’t manage to care about most of the details.

    In both cases, though, I remain aware that any issues I might have could well just be rooted in my substantial ignorance. If I say “X makes no sense to me and seems dumb,” and they push back, then I don’t double down; I shut up. And if I care, I go learn something and try again.

    Perhaps you could try one of those approaches? Following up ignorance with rudeness doesn’t seem like a great way to build an audience.

    • Michael Peck says:

      Star Trek is an IMAGINARY universe. It’s a make-believe world that exists only in the minds of Hollywood scriptwriters. It’s not even a consistent universe from show to show. So I don’t need to be an expert on Trek history to comment on what doesn’t seem right.

      I’m a Star Trek fan. I’ll happily debate Trek trivia. I even defend Trek, which I consider superior (at least the original series and Deep Space 9) to Star Wars, Babylon 5 and Galactica. But flame wars over Romulan weaponry? That’s lunatic.

      Another commenter used the word “fascist” to describe the Trek universe. I think that word better applies to some fans. Any criticism, any deviation from Star Trek “canon” (whatever that means for an imaginary universe), and the response is vicious. I’m sure there’s some of this with fans of the other SF shows, not to mention Lord of the Rings.

  2. hidflect says:

    There’s an element of the population out there that’s really creepy. I remember a rising babble of posts claiming Bill Gates was the Anti-Christ and he was trying to enslave us all, many hinting at the need to off him. Lo, about 6 months later he made his massive charity PR campaign as Bill The Benevolent. I like to think he did it to head off any web whackos with a handgun bent on eliminating the “evil one”.

    Nowadays life seems too mundane and “easy” for the complexity of our minds so many, many, many are inventing parallel universes to indulge themselves in. Some may even be legitimate such as 9/11 queries, but personally I’d hesitate taking on the Elite-are-Lizard-People set.

    Trekkies are the saddest sub-group though… What’s so fascinating about a proto-fascist Universe where we all take orders from the “captain” who issues edicts and orders to his part of the vast military machine as well as entire colonies of civilians? Do the secretaries and bar staff get a say when the Dear Leader decides to dive into a blackhole? the attraction is there’s no need to think. The commander will tell us what to do and let us proudly wear little badges of flair like Boy Scouts.

  3. Michael Hastings says:

    Geeko-Con, I like it.

  4. Brian In NYC says:

    “Trekkies are Insane!” And this comes as news to you?

  5. Rachel King says:

    I’d say they’re crazy too, but then again, I’m a pretty nutty Star Wars fan.

  6. esiahc says:

    No one is asking that you have knowledge of the Trek Universe or w/e will constitute Canon. Most of the complaints were because you seem incapable of processing what actually happened in the movie. Like the point defense phasers all about, the ship being from 100+ years in the future, etc, etc. Most people were unhappy that you went in, seemingly paid no attention to a movie whose genre demands very close attention, and then came out moaning about things that were explained or made clear in the movie. So yea, most of those fans take it way to seriously, but you were pretty much coming off as ridiculously stunted; as though you got what you know of the movie from a wiki article rather than watching it.

  7. janegrey says:

    I am a long-time Star Trek fan who liked the movie very much. I even cried during the opening scene. But come on, I was ragging on it under my breath, too.

    Part of the joy of Trek has always been pointing out its absurdities. And the movie had plenty, from the usual technical nonsense (red matter) to the comical plot contrivances, like Academy recruits just happening to convene near Kirk’s hometown. Presumably, they got a letter in the mail saying, “Congrats, you’re in. Report for duty on May 25th in Bumblefuck, Iowa, at which point we will inexplicably put you on a shuttle and fly you to San Francisco, where you training really is.”

    The more knowledgeable you are, the more fun you can have quibbling, like my high school friend who used to go ballistic when some Next Generation character would turn in the wrong direction when exiting the turbolift: “Ten Forward is the ooootthhheerrr waaayyy!!!”

    Personally, I patted myself on the back when, through my tears, I turned to my brother and whispered, “What is Kirk’s mother doing on the ship? Was she in Starfleet too? If not, she shouldn’t be there! It was explicitly stated the Enterprise D was the first one to carry families.”

    And for the record, I touch tits every day — in the shower and from time to time when one happens to itch.

    Your detractors (I especially enjoyed the one who referred to your “horable artical”) simply aren’t being good Star Trek fans. They ought to be careful, that much spite might cause a rupture in the space-time continuum and turn them into pre-teen Twilight fans, the only group thus far to eclipse Trekkies in rabidity.

    Actually, maybe that would be good thing. Then they could touch each other’s tits and everyone would be happy.

    • thorgolucky says:

      Hear hear, janegrey.

      And as a long-time Star Trek fan starting when hanging out with my mommy as she ironed clothes while watching early re-runs, I loved the new movie, complete with the usual fiction and Hollywood “science”. (spaceships don’t make whooshing sounds. 2001 A Space Odyssey from 1968 was one of the few movies to get that right…sad).

      Michael Peck: But it’s a dry insane.

  8. andreaitis says:

    Hey Michael – the big Star Trek convention is coming up in August, in that real-life imaginary universe we call Las Vegas.

    Can anyone say ‘keynote’??

    • Michael Peck says:

      Speak at a Star Trek convention? I have a feeling the audience wouldn’t set their phasers to “stun”.

  9. smcnally says:

    Michael – Welcome to teh intarwebs, and great to have you on True / Slant.

    There are factions out there – long-time factions – about which you’ve heard and may think are mythological, or at least parodied to such a degree that you don’t realize how closely the parodies resemble the mark. You have touched a nerve within one of the longest-lived.

    You’ve touched this nerve through no “fault” of your own, but by addressing their subject matter with something short of complete knowledge and perfect clarity.

    It’s a great traffic-driver, but you need the stomach for it. Whenever you’re lacking in hate-mail, try to mention The Simpsons, Star Wars, Kirk vs. Picard, and several other topics.

    Happy to Help!

  10. jwilson07 says:

    Mike, what If I wrote an article mentioning the Cleveland 351 engine inside my Stock Chevy Camaro? Can you imagine the legions of car people beating a path to my door to hammer me on my mistake? They would also consider that mistake a serious sign of disrespect to car collectors. Hence, its just a fantasy universe, but its damn serious to them, show some respect.

    • Michael Peck says:

      If Trekkies feel disrespected because someone makes a mistake or has a differing opinion, then Trekkies have some self-esteem issues. You say this fantasy universe is “damn serious” to them? Maybe that’s the problem.

  11. petersaczkowski says:

    Being a certified geek I can tell you that geeks (but hopefully not me) have a strange predilection for taking any sort of criticism of their most cherished X (be it a video game, comic, movie etc.) as a personal assault on them. I would think that being a fan wouldn’t require blind, mindless defenses of EVERYTHING within a person’s favourite X. In fact, I would think that criticism would be required. Don’t geeks want their favourite X to be better?

    But, as a childhood Trek conference goer, perhaps this isn’t what is one their minds, but rather transforming their beat-ass sedan into a Klingon warship (and, yes, I saw this) or some other such crazy shit.

  12. Roy Brander says:

    By far the worst, for my money, was in the best Star Trek movie, #2, Wrath of Khan. “Worst” because the scriptwriters presumed to explain how Starfleet would be schooled in different ways of thinking that come from zero-G combat -then showed the exact opposite.

    In the final battle against Khan’s ship, Spock points out that Khan is smart, but unschooled in zero-G thinking, that he still thinks in two dimensions like it was a water-navy battle.

    So the show the Enterprise, while keeping the same orientation of “up” as the movie screen, goes “down” like an elevator a ways, lets Khan pass “overhead”, then zooms back “up” (with the same orientation as the audience the whole time) behind Khan and shoots him in the butt. As if you had to be on that same “level” and same orientation, to shoot him.

    Of course, the real 3-D thinking would have been to simply rotate in pitch while “underneath”, point “up” 90 degrees, and shoot his ship in the tummy.

    Space warfare? Hell, a modern aircraft dogfight would do the same. Pilots already have to think in 3-D, have since WW1. So not only was it NOT an example of 3-D thinking, it was dumb to imagine Khan wouldn’t already be quite able to see the battle that way.

    None of which ruined the movie, it was great. Movies don’t actually depend on that stuff being consistent, any more than Shakespeare plays depended on getting Julius Caesar’s Roman toga correct. Which is why it’s quite insane for Trekkies to go to vast efforts to make all the technology and languages and consistent in the first place.

    Star Wars, by contrast, just had to mix up sword fights (Christ, *sword* *fights* !!!) with laser and space battles – and to do it, Lucas came up with a thoroughly ludicrous excuse and moved on.

    And all of us with a sense of humour laughed at the absurdity of it, then relaxed and enjoyed the show. Everyone likes a good sword fight.

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